The terraces of buildings
Take me slightly closer to the heavens
Nothing between the skies and me
It stirs up
Feelings of being free, unrestrained,
Unlimited airy possibilities everywhere
Freedom, a giddy happiness and the slightly scary feeling of wanting to never leave.
Open gardens and courtyards,
Clean, minimal, well-manicured
With neat plants having sensible, predictable patterns to grow in
A small water pond
Lined with snow-white pebbles
Holding only goldfish
Straight, neat shadows formed by the walls of white buildings
Falling over the ground to cool it down
Make me feel welcome
Give me a minty clean sense of calm
Zen
Peace
Control.
Rooms with gigantic, intimidating glass windows everywhere,
Open to let sunshine flood the place
Bright, warm cascade of sunlight washing over everything in the room
Make me feel hot, but still at ease
Fresh, like a tall, chilled lemonade
Relaxed
Comforted
Rejuvenated.
Smaller, darker rooms
Closed and dingy
Mean fear, panic...
Depressing downward spiral
Of a dull soulful yearning for something unknown
And also a quick spinning kind of panic
Like a collar that's worn too tight around my neck
An urgent need to escape
To run and to never return.
Large, bare, empty hallways
Put fear in me
I stop to reflect
And I soon see that it's
The looming cloud of fear and uncertainty of being alone.
The uncertainty that comes from large bare rooms,
With not a single piece of furniture
Nothing that gives away a hint of what is coming next
And nobody in sight.
The overwhelming fear is crippling me.
I look at spaces and all the feelings
They stir up.
And I wonder...
Is it just me?
©️ Rebecca Manari
7-1-2021
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