Wanting...

I want you

To drape me in pretty words that glide like golden honey over my heart.

Words that will flow slowly, smoothly and sweetly melting, 

So I can take comfort in the sounds of each of them, 

Like a long, delicious meal that I never want to end.

And then drop right into me, filling up the gaping holes and soothe grotesque wounds that live deep inside. 

I want you

To hold and kiss every inch of me with every ounce of tenderness and love and devotion that your ice-cold, hardened, disguised-as-macho heart can muster up.

Pour that devotion into all the dark places where love should have lived in the first place.

And then some more

Until my cup runneth over

I want you 

To firmly plant me down,

And keep me wanting life some more...

To keep me holding tight to real life 

As it tries to soar, escape me, evade me.

I want you 

To sweep away the clouds of dust and smoke 

The fuzziness that burns my eyes

And fills me with the dread of uncertainty. 

The anxiousness that petrified me then continues to haunt me now.

I want you 

To be immersed in me, 

Yet surrounded by me 

As I am by you.

I want you 

But this can't be healthy.

-Rebecca Manari 

16.1.2021